The Gospel Accordin' to Osgood
Good mornin’, y’all!
In case you don’t know me, my name is Osgood, and by the way, I’m a rabbit. And let me tell ya, I’ve got a storey to share!
It all began on a great and glorious Fryday—not just any Fryday, mind you, but a very special one.
Now, it just so happened that on this glorious Fryday, I was hoppin’ my way to the Holey Land. (You know, it’s a place that bunnies really dig.) The Holey Land is home to lots of rabbits, all eager to hear the good news preached by a rabbit named Fry’er.
And if it weren’t for Fry’er Rabbit, I wouldn’t have this storey to tell. But before we begin, let me tell you a bit more about who Fry’er Rabbit is—and where he is now. (He once was lost, but now he’s found…)
Keep reading, and you’ll find out how!
Who and Where is Fry’er Rabbit?
Now, Fry’er Rabbit was from the tribe of Levis—not just because of his priestly demeanor, but also because he loved wearing Levi’s jeans, which he proclaimed proudly that they were so comfortable that it made hopping around a piece of cake (hopefully carrot cake)!
For a while, though, Fry’er was missing, and all the rabbits in the Holey Land feared the worst. Some even whispered he might’ve ended up in a stew (well, he almost did, but that's a hole 'nother storey).
But Fry’er wasn’t just any bunny. He was one of the Hare Apostle Bunnies , a very special group of rabbits. Now these rabbits, in their newly found wisdom, dropped the "t" and began calling themselves rabbi's.
These rabbi's (maybe we should stick to saying rabbits for the rest of the storey) had hands laid on them in a special ceremony, marking them for a higher purpose. Many had undergone this tradition, and some had even been baptized by fire, which was mostly good—though some experienced fire in a way that no rabbit in their right mind (or left for that matter) wouldn't hope for.
Fry’er Was on Saved by Grace!
When it came to fire, Fry’er, was one of the lucky ones. When the flames of fate came just a bit too close, he was saved at the last moment by a veggie "utili"tarian named Grace.
Now, Grace believed every creature deserved to hear the good news, bunnies included. She took Fry’er under her care and taught him about Jesus, the message of salvation, and the true power of the cross. (Now Fry’er, being a rabbit, thought she said “the power of the carrots” instead of "the power of the cross," Grace wasted no time at all and corrected him very quickly regarding that heresy... Nobody wanted to have the Carrot Sticks heresy repeated again... Nor did anyone want rabbits reading Carot Cards!). No matter—soon, Fry’er Rabbit was ablaze with passion—and he was on fire for the Lord! (And, that is meant in a good way!)
Fry’er proclaimed the gospel far and wide across the Holey Land. He’d hop up on hills, raise his voice, and shout, “Hare ye, hare ye!” to any bunny within earshot (and with their big rabbit ear antennas always readily available, that earshot went a long way and usually had good reception). Wherever he went, Fry’er shared the good news, spreading hope and joy to rabbits everywhere.
Touched by Grace....
So, out he went, Fryer was very active in proclaiming the gospel to every rabbit he met. He’d hop up on hills and shout, “Hare ye, hare ye!” to any bunny who’d listen. The good news was being preached to rabbits throughout the entire Holey Land.
Osgood's Amazin' Storey
So, here’s what happened on that glorious Fryday as I was hoppin’ along the Southern Forest (the Pine Barons) of Long I-land. Just as I made my way through the woods, I stumbled upon Fry’er Rabbit. I got to hare the famous Fry’er Rabbit preach!
There he was, standin’ tall, one paw clenched and the other holdin’ a staff, lookin’ like some kind of wise hare. He was preachin’ the good news about salvation—and, of course, the power of the cross!
I stopped and listened, amazed by this gospel-spreadin’ bunny who’d been touched by Grace herself. Before I knew it, I was right there with him, hangin’ on to every word.
The Sermon on the Mound
The Holey Bunnies gathered in great numbers—some sittin’ on logs, others standin’ on their hind legs, while a few just stretched their ears toward Fry’er Rabbit’s voice. Fry'er preached with such passion that even the shyest rabbit couldn’t help but listen.
“Hare ye! Hare ye!” he cried. “You’ve heard it said, ‘All creation groans and travails together in pain,’ but I tell you, the day is comin’ when the puppies shall lay down with the bunnies. Fear not, little ones! If God cares for the fields that are hare today and gone tomorrow, how much more will He care for you? Consider the lilies of the valley, and the sparrows in the trees—our Heavenly Father provides for them all. How much more will He provide for you?”
Fry’er’s words were so full of hope that many of the bunnies began to bounce excitedly. Most of ‘em had always believed salvation was for humans only, but Fry’er, a bunny himself, assured them it was for all creatures, no matter their shape, size, or ear length.
Well, Fry’er sure made an impression on me.
We became fast friends, and let me tell you, that bunny taught me more than I ever could’ve imagined. So much so that before long, I was ready to hop out on my own and spread the good news. I wasn’t about to just sit around—I had a message to share! After all, faith doesn’t just come from hare’ing but it also comes from share’ing too!
One day, not long after I’d set out from the woods, I stumbled upon the most incredible garden I’d ever laid eyes on.
And, what do you think happened next?
Well, let me tell you—it was quite an adventure!
The Garden of Eatin'
The Parable of Mr. Works’ Garden
“Hare ye, hare ye!” I called out to the crowd. “Gather round, for I’ve got a story to tell!”
I once came across the most amazing garden I’d ever seen. This wasn’t just any ordinary garden—it was the Garden of Eatin’, filled with the most delectable veggies you could ever lay eyes on. Carrots, taters, spinach, cabbage, lettuce—everything a bunny could dream of.
But there was a catch. At the gate stood a sign:
NO BUNNIES ALLOWED!!!
Enter at your own risk…
This means YOU ‘bunnies,’ or face the fullest extent of the law!
Well, that sure put a hitch in my hoppin’. But before I could decide whether to turn around or sneak in, a voice spoke up behind me.
It was Mr. Lizard. "Do you see those veggies?" he asked. "Ain’t they lookin’ mighty delicious?"
"‘Yeah," I said, "but bunnies aren’t allowed in Mr. Works’ garden."
Mr. Lizard chuckled. "Why not? Just a couple of words scribbled on a sign, and you’re gonna let that stop you? Go on, grab a snack. What’s the harm?"
Osgood Was Trapped!
As soon as I took a bite of one of those juicy carrots, BAM! I was trapped!!!
Now, this wasn’t just any trap. This was a trap designed by Mr. Works himself! And believe me, Mr. Works didn’t mess around when it came to trappin’ critters who broke any one of his laws.
I struggled, I cried out, I wiggled my little rabbit feet in desperation, but the more I struggled, the tighter the trap seemed to get.
As the night grew darker, I prayed. I remembered Fryer Rabbit’s words about faith and salvation, and I thought about the last time I’d been in trouble with my family. That time, I had dug a mighty big hole to keep my family safe, but instead of safety, I ended up buryin’ us all in trouble. And now here I was again—stuck, helpless, and in need of a savior.
“Please, God,” I whispered, “I need your help. I’ve broken the law, and I know the penalty is death. Please save me.”
Saved by Grace
And just as I was about to lose hope, I heard footsteps approachin’. It was the veggie utilitarian, Grace.
She had come to take care of Mr. Work’s garden and noticed the trap. She opened it up, looked at me with those kind eyes of hers, and said, “Osgood, since you have heard the good news about the Son rising, I have more good news for you. Because of your faith, you will now be saved by Grace.”
She helped me out of the trap, and for the first time in a long while, I felt free. No longer was I bound by the Mr. Work's Laws of the Land. The penalty of death for breakin’ the rules was lifted, and I was no longer afraid of what Mr. Works might do.
No Longer in Bondage
I went back to the holey land that night, tellin’ all the rabbits about how I had been saved by Grace. No longer were we bunnies—or rabbits—bound by Mr. Works’ laws. Grace had replaced the old ways with the new way of life (and all rabbits know that you can't put new carrots in an old carrot stew)! But, most of all, we still understood that having Grace doesn’t mean that we could break the rules willy-nilly, but it does mean that even if we did, we wouldn’t have to fear death anymore. Grace had brought life into the garden and into our hearts.
And so, I continued to tell my storey. A storey of faith and redemption thanks to the mighty power of God and the Lord’s unbounded Grace. Because once you’ve been saved, you can’t help but share the good news with all the creatures of the earth, and especially in the woods (from the smallest bunny to the largest bear)!
The Moral of the Storey
Poor Osgood was mislead by Mr. Lizard (who he should have never listened to) and was caught in Mr. Work’s trap. For his trangressions he should’ve been condemned to death, but thanks to Grace, he was saved. By faith, all creatures can be saved by Grace, and definitely not by Mr. Works. And that’s a lesson worth passin’ along.
The lesson is: No matter how big or small you are, and no matter how much you love carrots, if you heed the wise words of the the Hare Apostle Rabbits, believe and have faith, you will be saved!
“A storey for children, and adults, who still love whimsical tales that have a timeless message. My hope is that this brings a smile to your face and puts a little bit of joy in your heart!"
Thomas Paul Martin, author of "The Gospel Accordin' to Osgood."
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